By Anna Bremner
1. Don't fake out your guest of honor the mean way
I cannot stress this one enough. I've seen this backfire enough times to wonder why anyone still thinks it's funny.
In an effort to create the maximum impact of surprise, people often like to trick the guest of honor into thinking all the worst things leading up to the big surprise moment. I've heard everything from "lets make him think his birthday is going to be super depressing" to "lets make her think everyone forgot her birthday and doesn't care about her" and even "he'll think I'm having an affair—and then it'll turn out it's just this great surprise!"
Frankly, this is a terrible thing to do to your guest of honor, and it almost always backfires. At best, you've got your poor victim all riled up: it's very hard to cool off from that and fall in to party mode even after you've yelled surprise and they discover the things they were upset about weren't real. At worst, your victim will reach a boiling point and confront you with whatever it is you've convinced him is horribly wrong, placing everyone in a very uncomfortable position once the surprise is revealed. What an awful way to start a party!
So next time you have a funny trick up your sleeve to cover your party planning and create the ultimate surprise, just make sure it's a nice one. If you care enough about this person to throw them a party, then you should care enough about them not to make them feel miserable leading up to their special event.
2. Clothe your honoree appropriately
Make sure the guest of honor will feel appropriately dressed to be the center of attention, even if that means bringing her a change of clothes and her makeup bag (or, just buy her a new dress)! She'll thank you for not making her spend her big night wearing the "laundry day" clothes she had on in anticipation of a quiet night in.
3. Don't let your phone spoil the surprise
If you're throwing the party for a spouse, roommate, or anyone else you spend much of your time around, enlist a friend be the contact person for all guests. The last thing you want is to be fielding a bunch of phone calls from people telling you they're running late, asking what to bring, what to wear, and who can come along. These calls will happen—they always do. Having someone else be on the receiving end of them will keep the surprise tight (and will save you the stress of managing pre-party chaos while also managing the guest of honor himself).
4. Timing is everything
In your invitation, be sure to let guests know what time the big surprise moment is going to take place. Be explicit about when they should arrive to be there for the surprise, and what time they should arrive after if they can't make it in time for the big moment. It would be terrible to have the surprise ruined at the last moment because of a straggling guest. What's more, it saves your late guests the awkwardness of sitting in the car wondering whether it's ok to come out.
5. The right guest list
Unless you're close enough to the honoree to really know who they would want at their party and can reach them all, enlist several of her friends in helping you come up with the guest list. They will help you cover all your bases and ensure that the guest of honor gets to share her big moment with the people she really wants there.
The most important thing is to HAVE FUN! Don't stress out too much over the timing, degree of surprise, and logistical issues. All that matters is that your guests and your honoree have a great time.
Got a great party idea or party story? Are you a party vendor or supplier? Email Anna@TheMenuBoston.com with your thoughts and they may be featured in a future article.
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